1 a: to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent; b: to give up with the intent to never again claiming a right or interest in
2 : to withdraw from often in the face of danger or encroachment
3: to withdrawn protection, support, or help from
4: to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly
5 a: to cease from maintaining, practicing, or using; b: to cease intending or attempting to perform
Abandon (v.): late 14th century, “to give up, surrender (oneself or something), give over utterly; to yield (oneself) utterly (to religion, fornication, etc.),” from Old French abandoner (12c.) from adverbial phrase á bandon “at will, at discretion,” from á “at, to” + bandon “power, jurisdiction,” from Latin bannum, “proclamation,” from a Frankish word related to ban (v.)
“Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, American essayist, lecturer, and poet who led the Transcendentalist movement of the 19th century.)
“The sun loved me again when it saw that the stars would not abandon me.”
Jenim Dibie (writer of poetry, fiction, and romance, and author of the poetry book, “The Calligraphy of God”)
“God draws near to the brokenhearted. He leans toward those who are suffering. He knows what it feels like to be wounded and abandoned.”
John D. Richardson (church planter and pastor for over 10 years, and the author of Giving Away the Collection Plate)
“There is not a moment in which God does not present Himself under the cover of some pain to be endured, of some consolation to be enjoyed, or of some duty to be performed. All that takes place within us, around us, or through us, contains and conceals His divine action.”
Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751, French Jesuit priest and writer known for his book, Abandonment to Divine Providence, and his letters, Nuns of the Visitation at Nancy.)
“There are possibilities that exist beyond our present ‘knowing,’ and to see those possibilities, we must abandon that which makes us feel safe.”
Bryant McGill (b. 1969, age 46, American author, aphorist, speaker, and activist in the fields of self-development, personal freedom, and human rights.)
“A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers - the experience of knowing we always belong.”
bell hooks (Gloria Jean Watkins, b. 1962, author of more than 30 books, man of which focus on issues of social class, race and gender; she is a feminist, and social activist; and her pen name “bell hooks” was derived from her mother and grandmother.)
“Nobody would have anything to do with him. He began to drop things and to trip. He had a shy and hopeful manner in each new contact, and he was always disappointed. Because he NEEDED a friend so desperately, he never found one.”
Joseph Heller (1923-1999, American satirical novelist, short story writer, playwright, anti-war activist; known for writing Catch-22, considered the most significant works of postwar protest literature)
“It was a high ceilinged room with tall, large-panes windows. Apart from the doorway was the desk where book had been checked out in days when books were still being checked out. He stood there for a moment looking around the silent room, shaking his head slowly. All these books, he thought, the residue of a planet's intellect, the scrapings of futile minds, the leftovers, the potpourri of artifacts that had no power to save men from perishing.”
Richard Matheson (1926-2013, American writer of haunted science fiction and horror: best known for I am Legend, a 1954 horror novel adapted for the screen four times)
“May it not be that he loves chaos and destruction (there can be no disputing that he does sometimes love it) because he is instinctively afraid of attaining his object and completing the edifice he is constructing? Who knows, perhaps he only loves that edifice from a distance, and is by no means in love with it at close quarters; perhaps he only loves building it and does not want to live in it, but will leave it, when completed...”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821-1881, Russian novelist, short story writer, essayist, journalist, and philosopher)
As part of the human condition abandonment is one of our top primal fears. No one wants to be left behind. No one.
As a highly sensitive child who suffered with chronic asthma and was hospitalized often, abandonment was my on-going visceral fear. Particularly when it came to my mother, I never wanted her out of my sight. And when she had to travel, which she and my father did often for their church outings and spiritual retreats, I was always beside myself with fearful that she would never return.
As a child of sixties violence was a reality of that world’s existence, and like most, I became emotionally infected by its mayhem. Fear and dread was my constant companion.
When my mother died my 10-year old world turned upside down. In those days, children did not have complex feelings, so I could not acknowledge what felt or feared.
It took me some time, way into my adulthood, to come to terms that my mother did not want to leave behind her four children. As it was sometimes hard for me to accept, it was her time to go Home.
In a short amount of time at the age of 27 my mother had completed her mission, and what a mission it was. Not only did she marry and bring forth four children into the world, she also designed fashion and completed her studies in opera. She bestowed upon all those she loved and future generations a huge legacy and love of music, art, and science.
As a result of those experiences I am super sensitive to the comings and goings in my life. I care deeply about all relationships in my life, and am always a little bit hesitant to let go when it is time. I can sometimes hang on. But when I am able to let go I try to surrender in love.
Great connections are life’s precious gifts, and although everything in our world is temporary, the love that lives through each relationship is eternal and undying. We could never extinguish Love’s flame.
So let us surrender instead the fear and limitations of our relationships and always move forward in peace.
In Wonder and Awe, Tonya